I went out to breakfast recently with a friend who asked if I “do” New Year’s resolutions or not.

Short answer? I don’t. New Year’s resolutions feel so weighty and forced that I worry I won’t follow through with whatever I’ve promised to do. I’ll have already failed before I even begin. Why set myself up for that kind of stress when I don’t have to?

For the record, my friend doesn’t do resolutions either.

I do, however, like the idea of a purposeful and intentional start to a new year. It’s the perfect time to stop and think about where you’ve been, where you are, and where you’d like to go. Last New Year’s Eve, I tried something new by choosing a word for 2019. I’m not sure when this idea of a year word entered the collective consciousness of my social circle, but toward the end of 2018 friends and colleagues would casually ask what my 2019 “word’ was going to be. Repetitive asking led me to mulch on the value of a year word, and eventually I did choose one: LEAP. As someone who doesn’t usually leap into things, spending far too much time evaluating all possible outcome scenarios, LEAP felt adventuresome, freeing, and joyful. LEAPers jump forward with excitement and promise, sometimes with their eyes open and sometimes with their eyes closed. They just go for it. I decided that by embracing the idea of LEAPing instead of my usual worried hesitation, maybe I could learn to move forward without all the overthinking craziness I was used to. Looking back on 2019, I have to admit that LEAP did help me navigate the year. I’m not sure I want to choose a different word for 2020. LEAP was a good guide.

But I’m not the same person at the cusp of 2020 as I was before 2019. LEAPing changed me, and I think the word will stick in my head even if I choose a new one. And so, I’m on the year word hunt, this time with a smidge of humor.

It’s going to be 2020, and the geek in me would like to choose an eye related word.

At first I considered VISION but decided that it was too weighty and serious. VISION makes me feel like whatever I do has to be prolific somehow, with bigger and better ideas than I might ever generate. Nope. I don’t want that word.

Next I thought, maybe CLARITY would be a good option, but after trying it on for a few days I took it off, too. CLARITY feels stifling to me, and demands a serious approach to whatever it touches. I’m far too good at serious.

Pass.  

So, in a true Goldilocks moment, I’ve landed on a third option, FOCUS. So far, it feels like a strong possibility. If last year was for LEAPing, then this year is for regrouping and FOCUSing on what I’ve gotten myself into. FOCUS will help me to refine, shape, and work with what I’ve built so far. Admittedly, too much FOCUS could morph into an uncomfortable intensity, but when I’m in an investigative and problem solving mode, I think it can be exciting and satisfying to zero in on the details. I haven’t made a final decision yet, but right now, FOCUS feels like it could be the one.

Here’s the million dollar question, though: can I LEAP and hold FOCUS at the same time? It will require courage and precision.

I’ll have to keep my eyes open for sure.

What’s your word for 2020?