I belong to the Twin Cities Writing Studio, a weekly writing group of brilliant, funny, creative, magical, and fiercely supportive women. This post comes from a prompt we were given way back in March. I’ve been sitting on it for a while, but since it feels appropriate for this time of year, and it makes me laugh out loud, I’m sharing it with you.

We need more laughter these days.

Enjoy.

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Prompt: Write a letter to yourself, illuminating an odd personal quirk from the viewpoint of a source you can’t write back to.

From: The Land of Misfit Toys

To: Me

Re: Stuffed Friend Safety Net Appreciation

Dear Melissa,

Yet another busy holiday season is upon us, and we wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you for your unwavering support (both monetary and emotional) toward the annual LoMT goal of finding every stuffed toy a loving home.

Take for example, the gift rack at Cub Foods, located next to the store’s flower and plant section.

Originally this was a solidly performing site, well known for good visibility and consistent adoption rates. Unfortunately, the store stopped staffing the section, causing friend acquisition rates to drop significantly. We openly admit that our outreach department has not adapted well to this change, resulting in many unclaimed friends due to missteps in product placement and presentation. We know that you are aware of this, too, and recognize your continued work to remedy this sad situation by always greeting the toys, brushing fur away from their sparkly eyes, and uprighting the few who would tip over from sadness. It’s the attention to these important details that helps new friends find each other, thank you.

And, speaking of new friends, many thanks for bringing so many into your own home, even while on vacation! Petey the turtle sent us a heartfelt note to say why he feels so lucky to call your address his forever home. According to his story, your family was getting ready to leave on a cruise and decided last minute to visit the tourist trap stuff-store next to the hotel. Petey had given up on ever leaving the store, but then you and your girl walked toward his spot on the clearance rack and found his hopeful gaze from the very bottom of the display. You both commented immediately on his defective construction, with two open seams and only one eye, but that didn’t deter you from hugging him tightly and naming him on the spot. It was because of this overwhelming kindness that he wasn’t scared at all when you mended the open areas on his tummy.

Petey on vacation!

Likewise, your newest acquisition, Bird Without a Name Yet, called the LoMT tweetline to say that he, too, had pretty much given up hope of ever being rescued from his retail purgatory. Bird’s leg was damaged during box unpacking, and while he almost made it to a forever home a couple of times, his injury always led people to put him back in the Target Dollar Spot bin. But when you came by with your cart to do your routine “righting tipped over friends” rounds, you weren’t put off by his hurt leg. Instead of leaving him behind you placed him in the front of your cart, pat his head, and told him not to worry because he was safe. He went on to mention that fixing his leg was difficult, but you didn’t give up, and now it looks normal again. He loves being part of your family and looks forward to finding out what his name will finally be.

Bird!

On a serious note, we were all concerned about your daughter getting older, and how that might impact your consistent ability to bring home new stuffed friends. We shouldn’t have been so worried, as she has so beautifully inherited your tender heart in this matter. We see her saying hello to a variety of stuffed friends across the city, and we promise not to take advantage of what has always proven to be a trusted safety net for the most vulnerable among us.

Again, thank you so very much for all that you do to make our work joy-full and heart-full!

Best wishes to you and yours for the new year,

Mayor Imma Unique

Land of Misfit Toys